{"id":63,"date":"2012-08-29T12:17:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-29T09:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/?p=63"},"modified":"2017-04-20T13:50:55","modified_gmt":"2017-04-20T10:50:55","slug":"trei-opt-cinci","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/","title":{"rendered":"Trei Opt Cinci [Teatru]"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Autobuzul 385. Ora \u2013 dou\u0103sprezece \u015fi cincisprezece minute. Liceana urc\u0103 tacticos, se aga\u0163\u0103 sistematic de o bar\u0103 de sus\u0163inere \u015fi apoi \u00eencepe s\u0103 road\u0103 firul de la c\u0103\u015ftile sucite \u00een jurul urechilor relaxate \u00eentr-un echilibru precar. Gestul antistres de mestecat dureaz\u0103 vreo c\u00e2teva sta\u0163ii, armoniz\u00e2ndu-se cu b\u0103l\u0103b\u0103neala per total a autovehiculului; apare \u00eens\u0103 o disturbare a lini\u015ftii interne.<br \/>\nIntrusa \u2013 mic\u0103, \u00eendesat\u0103, cu \u015fapc\u0103 numai cu cozoroc (f\u0103r\u0103 acoperire a vreunuia dintre creiere) \u015fi cu o pufoaic\u0103 semidescheiat\u0103 \u2013 se apropie silen\u0163ios \u015fi bine pl\u0103nuit. Se propte\u015fte \u00een fa\u0163a liceenei, scoate o legitima\u0163ie \u015fi trece la fapte.<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: Abonamentul, v\u0103 rog, domni\u015foar\u0103.<br \/>\nLICEANA (oprindu-\u015fi jignit\u0103 rosul \u015fi muzica): Mmm, pofti\u0163i?<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA (impasibil\u0103): V-am cerut abonamentul.<br \/>\nLICEANA (indiferent\u0103 \u015fi ea): N-am.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: Biletul, atunci.<br \/>\nLICEANA: N-am.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: N-ave\u0163i?<br \/>\nLICEANA: N-am.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: Foarte r\u0103u, domni\u015foar\u0103. Atunci da\u0163i-mi un act de identitate.<br \/>\nLICEANA (la fel de nesim\u0163itoare): N-am nici d-\u0103la.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: N-ave\u0163i niciun act? Buletin ceva? P\u0103i cum se poate una ca asta, domni\u015foar\u0103? Dumneastr\u0103 nu \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 v\u0103 lua\u0163i buletinul oriunde merge\u0163i? \u015ei ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 asta, s\u0103 nu ai bilet sau abonament? Doar exist\u0103 at\u00e2tea oferte de reducere pentru elevi \u015fi studen\u0163i! N-ai putut \u015fi tu s\u0103-\u0163i faci vreuna? N-ai putut \u015fi tu s\u0103\u2013<br \/>\nLICEANA (care ascultase tirada exasperat\u0103): N-am putut, nu.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA (justi\u0163iar\u0103): Prost, domni\u015foar\u0103, prost! Transportul public nu e gratuit! \u00ce\u0163i mai cer \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103 buletinul!<br \/>\nLICEANA (gen cauz\u0103 pierdut\u0103): Nu-l am, doamna, pute\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 c\u0103uta\u0163i \u015fi \u00een geant\u0103, c\u0103 nu-l am\u2013<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA (\u00eengrozit\u0103 la o asemenea perspectiv\u0103): Cum s\u0103 v\u0103 caut, domni\u015foar\u0103, n-am eu voie s\u0103 fac a\u015fa ceva! Cum s\u0103 caut eu \u00een geanta pasagerilor?<br \/>\nLICEANA: Atunci nu mai c\u0103uta\u0163i \u015fi gata\u2013<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: Domni\u015foar\u0103, tu nu te duci la \u015fcoal\u0103?<br \/>\nLICEANA (ab\u0163in\u00e2ndu-se s\u0103 nu strige &#8220;D&#8217;oh!&#8221;): Ba da, acolo m\u0103 duceam.<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: D\u0103-mi un caiet atunci, s\u0103-\u0163i v\u0103d numele!<br \/>\nLICEANA: L\u0103sa\u0163i c\u0103 v\u0103 zic eu cum m\u0103 cheam\u0103!<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: Exclus, exclus! Eu trebuie s\u0103 v\u0103d nume scris! D\u0103 caietul imediat!<br \/>\nMomente de \u00eenv\u0103lm\u0103\u015feal\u0103. Liceana, cu c\u0103\u015ftile preling\u00e2ndu-i-se pe g\u00e2t, se suce\u015fte \u015fi scoate la \u00eent\u00e2mplare un caiet, din care cade o foaie. O ridic\u0103 enervat\u0103 de pe jos, observ\u0103 un zece imens scris cu pixul ro\u015fu \u015fi, \u00eentr-un moment de furie inspira\u0163ional\u0103, o bag\u0103 fix \u00een ochii controloarei. Lini\u015fte total\u0103 \u00een tot autobuzul. Apoi\u2013<br \/>\nLICEANA: Uita\u0163i, uita\u0163i, teza mea de la info! Teza teza! Am luat zece!<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA (isterizat\u0103): Ce m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 pe mine, domni\u015foara, de nota ta? D\u0103 odat\u0103 caietul \u0103la!<br \/>\nLICEANA (\u015fi ea la cap\u0103tul r\u0103bd\u0103rii): Ba s\u0103 v\u0103 intereseze! S\u0103 v\u0103 intereseze!<br \/>\nCONTROLOAREA: De ce\u2013<br \/>\nLICEANA (cu superioritatea triumfului): Cum de ce? Dac\u0103 a\u0163i fi luat \u015fi dumneavoastr\u0103 zece la \u015fcoal\u0103, ca mine, nu ajungea\u0163i niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 fi\u0163i controloare de bilete!<br \/>\n<em>La urm\u0103toarea sta\u0163ie, liceana a cobor\u00e2t din 385.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><i>Bazata pe o intamplare reala a carei personaj principal a fost verisoara mea <a href=\"http:\/\/wolphie35.deviantart.com\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"avatar\" title=\"wolphie35\" src=\"http:\/\/maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/wolphie35.gif\" alt=\":iconwolphie35:\" \/><\/a> <\/i><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share!<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-63\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-63\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Pinterest\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-tumblr sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=tumblr\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Tumblr\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-63\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pocket\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-pocket sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=pocket\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Pocket\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Trei%20Opt%20Cinci%20%5BTeatru%5D&body=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.maribranze.ro%2Fmaribranze%2Ftrei-opt-cinci%2F&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. 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Gestul antistres de mestecat&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share!<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-63\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-63\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Pinterest\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-tumblr sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=tumblr\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Tumblr\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-63\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pocket\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-pocket sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=pocket\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Pocket\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Trei%20Opt%20Cinci%20%5BTeatru%5D&body=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.maribranze.ro%2Fmaribranze%2Ftrei-opt-cinci%2F&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. You may need to create a new email yourself.\" data-email-share-nonce=\"7c0530600d\" data-email-share-track-url=\"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/trei-opt-cinci\/?share=email\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[52,5,14,8,51],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/wolphie35.gif","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7h1A8-11","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":739,"url":"https:\/\/www.maribranze.ro\/maribranze\/toate-scrierile-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":0},"title":"Toate scrierile","date":"27\/09\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Iat\u0103 o list\u0103 cu toate scrierile postate p\u00e2n\u0103 acum pe site (Proz\u0103 scurt\u0103, proz\u0103 lung\u0103, poezii, teatru, scrieri \u00een englez\u0103, altele). 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